Tuesday 22 January 2013

FLASH FICTION AT FIVE: Waiting by Jeanne Miller

Mary Ann watched the people crossing the road.  Where was Mommy?  Why hadn’t she come for her yet?  I should be patient.  Mommy always tells me that good things come to those who wait.  But she has been in the store for the longest time.  She told me to wait over here with Daddy, but now I’ve lost him too.  He told me not to wander off.  They are going to be so mad at me.

Mary Ann turned around and saw some businessmen talking.  She guessed that was why none of them tried to help her.  They are busy and I’m not supposed to interrupt grownups when they are talking.  I hope they stop talking soon and notice me.  I hope someone helps me.  

Mary Ann turned back to watch the store across the road.  She knew Mommy would be coming out soon.  She has been gone so long. I hope she isn’t mad at me.  The men stopped talking and Mary Ann turned to ask them for help.  But they started talking again without noticing her.  She heard one of them more clearly than the others.  He had a deep, booming voice.  “Yup, it was a real shame, it was.”  Another man chimed in softly, “Yeah, I guess it was a real young kid too.  Her father was supposed to be watching her.  She ran out into the street after her mother.  Guess it was just about a year ago it happened.  So tragic to lose a child that way.”

Mary Ann turned back to watch the store across the street.  Where is Mommy?  Why won’t she come? I’ve been waiting so long.


  1. I loved this! Great piece of flash fiction. Both somber and haunting. Great job!

  2. I want more, much more, I was hooked at the first sentence

  3. Thank you so much, Andrew and MeMaw. I"m so happy you enjoyed it. :)

  4. Yes! I remember whe you first wrote this. Matches the picture in a rather macabre way. Only you could think of this.